The Obama 2012 campaign has kicked off with less than a bang, and is offering something that may go down as the worst political infographic ever: "The Life of Julia."

Drawn in mid-50s USSR mental ward blue, pencil eraser salmon, and baby vomit yellow, the infographic illustrates the high points in its titular character's uneventful life. It's unlikely that the infographic's creator and the rest of the Obama campaign perceived the irony that they'd named the "heroine" Julia, just like Winston Smith's faithless lover from 1984. 

The "Life of Julia" is a bland, dully-illustrated children's book version of Orwell's 1984. Julia is friendless, lacks brothers or sisters, appears unmarried, and all her parents contribute to her life is health insurance. Big Brother also does not appear, although he's probably spying on Julia through one of the numerous small, circular objects depicted in most scenes. 

What would Julia have done without Obama-Biden 2012? Here's what she would have missed:

• No Head Start
• No Race to the Top Program
• No American Opportunity Tax Credit of $10,000 or unstated Pell Grant amount
• No Ability to Have Unspecified Surgery on her parents' health insurance at age 22
• No Ability to Sue Her Employer Under the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act
• No Ability to repay student loans on time 
• No free birth control that enables her to concentrate on work 
• No free prenatal and maternity care for her child conceived at age 31
• No school bus or schools for her son Zachary when he starts kindergarten
• No SBA loan to start her own business
• No Medicare at age 65
• No Social Security at age 67
  
  

Everything about this infographic is bad. It's dull, sad, and vaguely chilling in that someone actually found it inspirational, or had some hope that it would entice or interest anyone. It isn't that the Republicans are threatening to cut all these programs (hardly), thereby destroying Julia's pathetically-dull and unappealing life, it's that the Obama campaign is trying to indicate that only with Obama will these life-sustaining benefits be offered. I don't even think those free birth control pills are out there yet. As for Julia? She needs to get a life.